We, your friends and family, are all thrilled to bits that you're finally dumping that asshole you married seven and a half years ago.
I know, we probably should have said something before. Believe me, we wanted to because honestly - we always thought he was a moron. Some of us tried to drop some subtle hints, but by then you were so gaga over the guy that there was just no talking to you.
The trouble is, we've heard that your ex has been sniffing around again, and that part of you has actually been considering getting back together with that son of a bitch. I find that hard to believe, but I have to tell you that if it's true then there really is no hope for you at all.
I know, I know. He says he's changed. He says he's a different man. He tells you he loves you, and promises to shower you with gifts and make all your problems go away and to never, ever hurt you or your kids ever again.
You cannot possibly be that stupid. You know he's lying, right? You know that as soon as he's back in your house that it's just going to be the same old shit all over again, right? Just because he's comfortable and familiar, or reminds you of your dad, or whatever the hell the appeal is, is no excuse for you to keep going back for more abuse again and again.
Please. I know you're torn, but you just can't put us all through this again. Just dump the chump for good and try to put it all behind you.
With love and respect,
(P.S. - We all really like that new guy you've been seeing. I think he'll be good for you.)