Monday, June 11, 2007
Tories go red
OTTAWA (BS News) - The Conservative Party of Canada today announced plans to change the traditional ‘Tory blue’ to a more Republican red in an effort to further harmonize Canadian regulations and standards with those of the United States.
Under the Security and Prosperity Partnership (SPP), the Conservatives have agreed to change the colour of all their logos, signs and fonts from blue to red in order to avoid confusion south of the border.
"Some Republicans apparently thought we were a bunch of pinkos just because we were blue" said an unnamed spokesperson from the PMO. "Plus, the whole ‘red state / blue state’ thing was really confusing to our western caucus members", some of whom have apparently been making crank phone calls to the governors of North Dakota and Idaho.
The Minister for Trade and Integration defended the colour change as essential to good relations with the U.S., and insisted that it is in no way a threat to Canadian sovereignty.
"It’s just a color. What’s the big deal? There’s nothing sinister going on here."
When asked if the decision was made in response to a recently leaked memo from Washington suggesting the change in livery, the Minister replied, "Thirteen years of inaction on the part of the Liberals has left us in this mess, and now it’s up to us to remedy the situation".
It is still unclear how the change might impact future election battles with the still-red Liberal Party, but the opposition leader’s office has reportedly been receiving anonymous colour swatches in the mail along with notes suggesting a nice teal would bring out Dion’s eyes.